Teachings From the Tree of Life, part 33: Don't Judge. We All Have Scars
- zhaawano
- Sep 30, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Jul 22
Waagaabagaa-giizis (Leaves Turning Moon) / Manoominike-giizis (Ricing Moon) - September 30, 2024
Boozhoo,
Judging someone from afar is quite simple. It's just as easy to assess a person's "Nativeness" based on their appearance or tribal association.
Despite my partially Ojibwe background I am not enrolled in any tribe. I guess that makes me someone who is not a certified Native American and therefore an easy target for the pretendian hunters...so be it. I know who I am and I'm unafraid. I've lived in various places: born on Turtle Island to an Anglo-Dutch-Ojibwe father and a Dutch mother, moved to Europe, got married, raised two sons, divorced, and returned to Turtle Island (both the US and Canada), and also lived in Tel Aviv, Israel. Talked to many people. Dreamed many dreams. Participated in ceremonies both in Canada and the States. Between 2015 and 2017 I lived with a gifted Ojibwe artist and tried hard to create with her a haven for homeless artists in Saskatchewan. It failed, due to the intergenerational trauma that proved to be stronger than the, in itself, powerful strength of love. Long story short, I found myself in Amsterdam, then Nijmegen, broke, mending wounds. I've finally found my lifelong partner and am content. I know you have scars, but so do I. We all do.
As to the modern custom of calling out those who do not fit into the rigid cultural norms of today, here's my perspective. Building a cohesive cultural movement is impossible while engaged in call-out culture. We lose sight of one another that way. Calling out results in division and factions; rather than safeguarding our communities, it exacerbates the toxicity of the already strained relationships that bind them. Those who adopt this confrontational tactic, publicly shaming and "exposing" individuals who don't visibly display some form of tribal affiliation or carry proof of it—or worse, have lighter skin tones—believe they are justly defending their cultural identity as truth's champions. In reality, they foster more conflict, hatred, and self-shame, thereby seriously jeopardizing the culture and values they strive to protect.
Moreover, acting in this way doesn't benefit you, as you undermine your own happiness with this unchecked anger that holds you tightly. While anger can be a useful emotion, it should never overshadow the broader perspective. This anger obscures your judgment and stops you from seeing clearly.
I hope my story resonates with you. If not, that's ok with me. Let's at least be truthful with each other, in a respectful way. I suppose having uncomfortable conversations is part of the process.
Weweni (sincerely)
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