Teachings From the Tree of Life, part 31: The Issue of Shame
Updated: Oct 22
Ode’imini-giizis (Strawberry Moon) / Baashkaabigonii-giizis (Blooming Moon), July 10, 2024
"Shame is an unpleasant self-conscious emotion often associated with negative self-evaluation; motivation to quit; and feelings of pain, exposure, distrust, powerlessness, and worthlessness."Boozhoo!
For a really long time, US and Canadian settlers have seriously disrupted Indigenous culture and tribal social connections. This has left a lasting feeling of confusion and alienation, and bad things like diseases, alcohol, and child abuse have only made it worse. The Anishinaabeg used to be known as Zhawenjigewininiwag (“The Kind-hearted People”), but that changed when colonizers forced their language on our kids, took them away from their families, and taught them to be judgmental, cruel, and intolerant. They stripped away our natural compassion and empathy.
On the flip side, there's a good story here too. We're in a phase of discovering a new balance.
Finding a new balance begins in your mind. It all starts with aabanaabandan [ah-ba-nah-BAN-dun] , which literally means “turn and look back (at something).” Traditionally, aabanaabandan is about taking a moment to stop, pause, and reflect on the past from which our ancestors came.
Looking back is all about learning again. It starts with getting back to our roots and changing how we think. It begins with healing—connecting with the land through ceremonies and traditional storytelling, and strengthening our bonds with each other, our ancestors, and the lands they called home. If we really want to heal the deep trauma that's been with us for generations, we need to change the system that's been holding us down since the first Wemitigoozhiiwag (“Stick Wavers”; the French Jesuits) showed up uninvited on our shores.
First off, we need to shake off "agajiwin" [a-ga-JIH-win]: the mental and behavioral grip that the system has on us, both as a community and as individuals.
We need to start treating each other in a way that's free from colonial influences.
"Lateral violence: organized, harmful behaviors that we do to each other collectively as part of an oppressed group, within our families, within our organizations, and within our communities."
–American Institute on Domestic ViolenceA friend of mine from Minnesota, who went through the whole boarding school experience, once mentioned to me that "Shame issues are imbedded in the teachings of the Gichi-mookomaan's (white man's) training."
By denigrating our cultures and scaring converts with fiery sermons, and by snatching our kids to put them in Catholic and Protestant concentration camps (misleadingly referred to as "Boarding Schools" in the US and "Residential Schools" in Canada), they taught us to hate ourselves and, ultimately, to hate "God" for making us "Indian."
IIt's so sad and true. We really need to change this more than anything. Let's ditch the self-loathing that Christian missionaries, reflecting the ethnocentric and racist standards of the European settler societies that sent them, drilled into us.
By denigrating our cultures and scaring converts with fiery sermons, and by snatching our kids to put them in Catholic and Protestant concentration camps (misleadingly referred to as "Boarding Schools" in the US and "Residential Schools" in Canada), they taught us to hate ourselves and, ultimately, to hate "God" for making us "Indian."
"The boarding school era represented a deliberate policy of ethnocide and cultural genocide and human rights abuses. They rank somewhere between dungeons and death camps. They were overcrowded, understaffed, underfunded, operating with limited resources, places where diseases ran rampant."
- Dr. Denise K. Lajimodiere Wani-doodam [wa-nih-TU-dum], which is the Ojibwe word for "sin," (literally: "commit wrong-doing") wasn't really a thing in Anishinaabe culture until missionaries showed up. It's probably one of the most damaging ideas they introduced. We didn't think of actions as sins; we just made choices, some good, some bad. Mistakes were seen as valuable lessons. But the Christian idea of sin brought guilt and fear, leading to self-loathing. This fuels a historic trauma that still affects our minds and communities today. Feeling ashamed or not good enough goes hand in hand with self-hate, constantly making us feel inadequate. It's a tough emotion tied to negative self-judgment, wanting to give up, and feelings of pain, exposure, distrust, powerlessness, and worthlessness. It can lead to serious issues like depression and substance abuse. It also results in lateral violence, which includes verbal, physical, and sexual abuse among our own people.
These patterns of thinking and behavior that get passed down through generations can really beour worst enemy. Figuring out what these patterns are and why they started is crucial if we want to break the cycle.
Weweni onjida miigwech gaa-bizindawiyeg noongom. Thank you all sincerely for having listened to me today.
NOTE:
* Gichi-mookomaan: "Long Knive." This is how the Ojibweg on the US side call Anglo-Americans. A descriptive metaphor stemming from military men carrying swords and bayonets.
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